( I’m quoting this from a ‘mature/adult’ forum, dated Oct 11, 2011, from a forum member named big_bird .. Man, i Hope you muster enough strength to keep going even with your condition… Your story is a must read for all men out there who likes doing it live)

I’m a GM most of you know by name around here, but to protect my privacy and my family I’m using an alternick. By the title of my thread I guess you already know what I’m going to tell you. Nevertheless, I want to share my story hoping that other GMs may learn something from it.

I was a 33-year-old stockbroker and businessman married to an accountant working in a top 1,000 corporation. I love my wife so much. She is smart, beautiful (a deadringer for Andrea Del Rosario), and sexy. We have three beautiful kids aged 8 (a girl), 5 (a boy), and 2 (a girl). We were a happy family. We are not filthy rich but we can buy most of the things we want and we can go on vacation whenever and wherever we want. My wife and I earn quite a sum so we are able to send our kids to good schools. My in-laws love me and my wife is adored by her in-laws as well. Because we are career people, my wife and I planned to have kids at least 3 years apart. This year was the time we should be having our fourth child. That was the plan…

I discovered the world of PSP through an officemate, who I caught browsing on p_ _ _ _ _ _ _ p .org one day. But I was not new to escort girls. Even when I was still a bachelor, my friends and I would go to KTVs and take out GROs. I also got to pick up girls at some universities or malls. I’m not as handsome or as hunk as a Sam Milby or a Derek Ramsey, but I’ve got my own kind of charm that got me a lot of girls even when I was in college. There were times when I even had more than one girlfriend at a time. But I remained clean and disease-free up until I met my wife and we got married. We had the medical certificates from our respective employers to prove it. Our kids are healthy and bright. When I met my wife, I promised to myself I will stop fooling around because she is more than enough for me and I love her very much. But promises are made to be broken, so to speak.

About two years ago, as I was lying in bed due to flu, bored with nothing to do, I turned on the TV set and went channel surfing. I chanced upon a channel called chat TV and saw this ad: “Pretty college girl here in need of cash”. I didn’t know what got into me but I got her cellphone number displayed on the screen and texted her right away. To make the long story short, we agreed to meet the following day. The moment I saw her, I instantly got turned on because she was cute, chinita, boobsy, and still wearing her uniform. And so we proceeded to a motel, did our thing, and gave her the money she needed. I used CD that time. I told her to text me if she needed money again, but instructed her what to say (some sort of a secret code) para hindi mahalata ni misis. Naulit nang naulit ang pagkikita namin, in fact, we would meet once a week for 3 months. During our trysts, hindi na ako gumagamit ng CD dahil komportable na kami sa isa’t isa at alam kong malinis siya due to the simple fact that she is a nursing student. One day nagpaalam siya. She had to go to her province because her mom died so we parted ways. I never heard from her since. But I missed the sex part.

Even though my wife and I had regular sex, something in me wanted more. So I started going out with my friends to have fun at KTVs, after which we will take out GROs of our choice. I would always wear CDs during the first encounter but when I felt like it’s safe to do it without, I will do it live during the next encounters. Not long after, I discovered pinoypsp.org, started looking at the girls there, and found one I liked. As always, I wore CD during our encounter but when I met her the second time, hindi na at payag naman siya. Then I picked another PSP, and another, and another. I also discovered o _ _ _ _ _ _ _ e.org so my choices broadened, so to speak. I picked one from there, and another, and another. And everytime, I would only wear CD during the first encounter. Lagi kasi ako nag-uulit ng PSP except when I don’t like her face or her attitude. At lagi naman sila pumapayag na walang CD as long as may dagdag bayad. Yung iba nga, sila na ang nag-vovolunteer na hindi na ako mag-CD. Malinis at mabango naman daw ako, they would say. Naging addict na yata ako sa PSP so I would always hire once or twice a week. I made sure I was careful with my excapades so my wife won’t find out. And she wasn’t able to notice anything. May sarili rin akong ATM so money was not an issue. By my count, I was able to walk 60 times in a span of approximately 15 months…

One day, while shaving my pubic hair, I noticed something like a mole in the shaft of my tool. That was around 4 months ago. Hindi ko pinansin dahil akala ko nunal lang na biglang sumulpot. But it got bigger and bigger at dumami pa sila. When I tried to inspect them carefully, parang hindi na siya ordinaryong nunal. I was already feeling afraid and searched the Internet to find out what those mole-like features are. I found something on the net and I was shocked I cried at that very moment.

I immediately went to a urologist and my fears were confirmed. I’ve got genital warts! I didn’t know what to do, although the urologist told me it can be resolved via electrocauterization. I couldn’t sleep at night, and when my wife would embrace me I would feel so nervous and uneasy especially since she loves to play with my tool. She was also talking about being ready to have another baby so you could just imagine my paranoia. I tried everything and invented every alibi in the book to avoid not having sex with her. But sooner or later I know she would become suspicious so I mustered enough strength and told her about it. She was devastated and wouldn’t stop crying, not because of my disease but because of my infidelity. When she recovered her senses, she packed her bags and took our two kids with her. She’s now living with her parents.

But she said she did not want to deny our kids the chance to see their father so she allows me to visit them every weekends. But this is not what I want. I want them to be with me every night. I want to see my wife and kids when I come home from work. I want to embrace and kiss them before I go to sleep. I want to be the one doing my kids’ school homework. I want to play with them even if I’m tired. I miss taking them to the mall and buy their favorite toys. I don’t want to be alone at the table having my dinner. Nasanay na ako na kayakap ang asawa ko sa pagtulog at mukha niya ang una kong nakikita paggising ko…

I decided to undergo electrocauterization a week after I found out about my disease. After a month, however, the warts returned and this time mas madami pa. I went to a male dermatologist this time and underwent another electrocauterization. Nagpa-injection na rin ako ng HPV vaccine para hindi na bumalik ang warts (as the doctor told me). By the way, regular namang nagpapatingin sa ob-gyne ang wife ko so hindi siya nahawa sa akin ng warts, thank God. At saka gumagamit ako ng CD ever since she gave birth to our third child dahil nga family planning kami. But since she left the house with our kids, I started to feel depressed. Wala na akong ganang pumasok sa office at wala na rin akong ganang kumain. But the worse is yet to come. Upon my doctor’s advice, I underwent an HIV test and…you guess it right. I’m positive. Nagpaalam ako sa opisina namin na magbabakasyon muna ako ng isang buwan. Right now andito lang ako sa bahay, living in an empty house with an empty feeling. I cry hard every night, hindi ko masabi sa wife ko o sa pamilya ko. Ang alam nilang reason kung bakit ako hiniwalayan ng asawa ko ay dahil may iba akong babae. Hindi na rin ako dumadalaw sa mga anak ko dahil nandidiri ako sa sarili ko. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to die a lonely man pero ito siguro ang kapalaran ko na ako rin ang gumawa. Sana merong institution for HIV/AIDS patients para dun na lang ako titira.

PS: By the way, some of the PSPs I had sex with are still in the business. Nakikita ko pa rin ang threads nila dito at sa isang site. If you can’t drop the PSP habit, use protection ALL the time. Just PM me if you want to know kung sino-sinong PSP ang naka-encounter ko. Of course I’m sure they will deny na nagpapa-live sila. Bahala na kayo kung maniwala kayo. Pero ayokong mangyari sa inyo ang nangyari sa akin. Laging nasa huli ang pagsisisi.

Thanks for the space. God bless.